If 711 had drive a through I would never be me

2010/03/11

last night I was working at fred meyers and a thought went through my mind, i know what a shocker.  this thought was a strong opinion, and was somewhat offensive. so immediately i swallowed my pride and just let said thought fester.

sadly it was an incredibly slow night so i had two option, think about this opinion or sing “one way, or another”

and no matter how badly i wanted to sing in a hallo low female voice, and scare any remaining customers away, the truth is that all i could think about was my offensive opinion.

being trained as a pastor, offensive opinions are what i am taught to shy away from and in my ministry i have tried very hard to avoid in resemblance of my schooling.

but this isn’t ministry, this is work, and offending someone could mean having less money than i already have. so it boiled in me,  then all of a sudden i started thinking about why this thought is controlling me so much, why is it all i can think about.  and the conclusion i came to is because i have no output anymore.

i have no authority, i have no one coming to me, asking me for advice, for the next step, or how to beat their demons.  all i have is an 8 month old that would rather spit up on me, then listen to me.

so i guess that is what this is.  my platform, my shoebox.

i fully understand my misspelling’s, and grammatical heresies, so feel free not to point them out.  if you can get past that, i would love to share my heart with you.

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